Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Sexual swearwords ( Simon Bates)

Prompted by the bootylicious Slaminsky, I have submitted Cultural Snow to a rating service, which supposedly identifies an appropriate age restriction for the site. I am reliably informed that this blog warrants a PG, thanks to "...the presence of the following words: death (5x); dick (1x)."

Which puzzles me on a number of counts. For example, does Bambi get a similar rating? Is any site that links to the redoutable Dick Headley similarly restricted? And, most significantly, the rating would appear to have disregarded entirely the verbal sewer we emptied over the ginger head of L Brent Bozell a couple of years back.

So it's tempting to dismiss the whole thing as a lame attempt to plug a dating site. (Follow the link and that's where it takes you.) Until you remember that Culture Secretary Andy Burnham thinks a real website rating system might be a jolly good idea.

Which only tempts me to suggest that Mr Burnham resembles a rancid secretion from the more intimate regions of Mr Bozell's anatomy, which would at least earn me the 18-certificate I've sought all my life.

10 comments:

Mr Murph said...

Simon Bates says : You bastard!

Rosie said...

R for Rosie...

drugs and fucking, apparently. not for kids.

Alistair Fitchett said...

I got a 'G' for my blog. What a load of bollocks. Apparently there is one (ONE!) reference to 'hell'. Clearly i need to revert to a more teenaged vocabulary.

pleite said...

The excellent swearing in the Bozell post+comments has had me chortling like a 12-year-old.

Hooray for swearing!

patroclus said...

That site was rubbish - I got a PG rating for using the word 'shoot' twice.

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

Well, I got PG13:

Tickle (x1)
Catamite (x4)
Drawers (x2)
Lolita (x1)
Punch (x2)

I'm going to put in 'Prostate', 'Maidenhead' and 'John Thomas'in a future post deliberately to see if that earns my scholarly account of Beethoven's spiritual development an 18-certificate.

Billy said...

I'm an "R" apparently.

Hooray!

rockmother said...

I ROCK! I got NC-17 - no one under 17 due to:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* fucking (8x)
* fuck (7x)
* shit (6x)
* pissed (4x)
* fag (3x)
* sluts (2x)
* cunt (1x)

I must try harder.

Tim Footman said...

More unction, Murph! More smarm!

Depends on the kids, Rosie.

Yeah, Alistair, you is wack, fo'shizzle, izzit. Or something.

That's one of my favourite posts, Pleite. Glory days.

Patroclus: I suspect we're working within the mindset that holds a euphemism for defecation to be more offensive than blowing someone's head off.

Ooh, posh swearing, Christopher. You're just like a Sarah Waters novel, you are.

Better than an Rse, Billy.

Top swearing, RoMo. You rock indeed.

Robert Swipe said...

I got the following Tim:

"This [PG] rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

shit (3x) murder (2x) shoot (1x)"

Well shoot and murder my shit!

(They obviously don't scan for porn...)

xxx
Bob

shit shootnmurderification: schar

Exactly

FREE ROBERT SWIPE!!!!