Sunday, September 16, 2007

Woolly thinking

I've mentioned before my theory that the definition of a modern intellectual is someone who owns more books than shoes. But there are other methods of identifying this rare and timid creature. My favourites have to be:

"Someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."

and

"Someone who can be left alone and unobserved in a room with a tea-cosy and not be tempted to put it on his head."

On either count, I fail dismally. Although I hope I just about make up for it with the shoes thing.

14 comments:

Murph said...

Brilliant! The Tim's Tell & Teacosy Test will henceforth be adopted into widespread use.

The "Loan Arranger" sign at the Bank making me think of the William Tell Overture but that may be less common.

Jun Okumura said...

Tim: I wouldn't be tempted to put a tea-cosy on my head. I guess that makes me more intellectual than you are. Sorry about that.

What's a tea-cosy?

tfzoi, everyone.

First Nations said...

ak, tim, put it down. you could get nits. it's not clean.

Billy said...

Someone who can hear "O Sole Mio" without thinking of Cornettos. Or Elvis.

MJ said...

I own more books than shoes (just) so I gained false hope for a moment. But not only have you dashed my dreams of getting served at the Rovers Return (previous posting) but now I've failed your WTO and Tea-cosy tests. Frankly, I'm surprised you let me play in this blog at all.

Everything I know about classical music I learned from watching Looney Tunes.

Flirty Something said...

Do we count shoes as pairs or individual? Also depends what colour the tea cosy is.

Voice from the Village said...

Has the world gone mad? The head is the spot to place the tea cosy while the pot is being filled. I refer to you my (blurred) comrades. http://www.flickr.com/photos/village_pics/249279578/

Tim Footman said...

I think the Villager's pic answers all queries about the colour and nature of tea cosies, although it may not satisfy FN's nit worry.

As for Billy's Cornetto quandary - I can't see a Cornetto ad without thinking of Boddington's. This one will run and run...

Marsha Klein said...

More books than shoes - check. William Tell Overture/teacosy tests - fail miserably, I'm afraid.

When we got married, my husband told the organist to "just play anything that's been used in an advert", implying that that's where our friends would have gained all their knowledge of classical music. Unfortunately, the organist misinterpreted her brief and we have to walk backwards down the aisle with a couple of vacuum cleaners while she played the "Shake'n'vac" tune!

St. Anthony said...

Being of the perfumed ponce persuasion, I'd sniff and say "that doesn't sound like any Steve Reich piece I ever heard."

Tim Footman said...

I would have preferred the Um Bongo song, Marsha, but hey, different strokes.

Yes, Anthony, but where does Reich stand on tea cosies?

M.A.Peel said...

Tea cosys (cosies?). Have they actually made it into the 21st century? Your team did very well at the Emmys last night--Helen Mirren and a director and writer won for Prime Suspect. But Hugh Laurie lost to James Spader.

Tim Footman said...

True, Mrs Peel, but Ricky Gervais won for his performance in the good-in-parts Extras, despite the fact that he's not one of the best parts in it (Barry is, of course). Where's the fairness in that?

llewtrah said...

If I had as many shoes as I have books I'd be Imelda Marcos. Or a Dolcis warehouse.