Monday, January 02, 2012

Don’t believe in Beatles


Popular crooner Cee Lo Green has, we are informed, caused something of a commotion by changing a key line in John Lennon’s popular ditty ‘Imagine’ from “no religion too” to “all religion’s true”.

Now, I wouldn’t dream of suggesting that the original song is beyond improvement: it’s probably one of the ghastliest things its author ever wrote, and in any case the line should really be “no religion either”. My complaint is that Mr Green’s new contribution is even more nonsensical than Lennon’s own pappy, feelgood platitudes. If all religion were really true, why would so many people with comedy beards be inflicting pain or mayhem on other people with comedy beards – or, more egregiously, people who don’t have comedy beards because, for reasons of age or gender, they can’t grow them – simply because of what someone did or didn’t say in a very old book? I was particularly taken by the news of ultra-orthodox Jews yelling “whore” and “Nazi” at six-year-old girls who have the effrontery to wear short-sleeved dresses.


Sometimes I do wonder whether some of life’s more immediate problems could be solved by putting equal numbers of the most hardline, fundamentalist Jews, Muslims and Christians in a locked room together, and playing one of Cee Lo’s less contentious numbers on repeat for 40 days and 40 nights until they all break down, or die or start having sex with each other. If nothing, it would make for a most diverting reality TV show. I must suggest it to the newly honoured Peter Bazalgette.

7 comments:

Philip Cartwright said...

Good to know I'm not the only one out there who hates Imagine. I once wrote a "10 Worst Songs of All Time" list for a webzine that went like this:

1. Imagine - John Lennon.
2. Imagine - John Lennon.
3. Imagine - John Lennon.
4. Imagine - John Lennon.
5. Imagine - John Lennon.
6. Imagine - John Lennon.
7. Imagine - John Lennon.
8. Imagine - John Lennon.
9. Imagine - John Lennon.
10. Imagine - John Lennon.

Vicus Scurra said...

At last. Someone has said it. Jesus is more popular than Lennon. And a slightly better song writer.

Charles Frith said...

Can't we just put all the Abrahamic faith crazies into the desert and nuke them before multilateral disarmament? Two problems in one go. Imagine that.

Rog said...

Thanks for the pic. I love "One Direction".

Tim Footman said...

You're not far wrong, Philip. Horrible, sicky thing.

His harmonica playing leaves something to be desired, Vicus.

Oh take the bloody Vedics with them, Charles.

I can see a tumblr blog forming, Rog. orthodoxjewsdancingbadly.com

Vicus Scurra said...

So would yours be if you had holes in your palms. I think a little leeway is called for.

Sabrina J.Henry said...
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