Sunday, May 03, 2009

Yes we McCann

Some years ago, I remember seeing an artist's representation of all those too-fast-to-live rock stars, and how they’d look if they’d made it into their 50s and 60s. I was particularly taken by Jimi Hendrix who, had he lived to take part the Miles Davis collaboration that still captures the imagination of people who like noodly jazz-funk-rock fusion with occasional loud bits, would now look like Lester Freamon from The Wire. Apparently.

Of course, these reconstructions can have a practical benefit, especially when it comes to working out what missing children might look like. If Madeleine McCann is still alive she will now be six years old, and her parents have released an image depicting what she might look like. Of course, what they’re really doing is acknowledging that, what with the credit crunch and Jade Goody and swine flu and Susan Boyle and everything, even the mid-market tabloids had completely forgotten about her, so they needed a useful gimmick to get her back on our radar, if not to the days when her fate was so central to our very existence.

In the absence of anything approaching solid evidence, I guess they’ll be commissioning similar images every couple of years, and the media will feel duty bound to publish them. They know what sells.

So, in 12 years’ time, will we be able to enjoy reconstructions of what Madeleine McCann might look like, pissed and bleary, snapped from the gutter, as she stumbles out of a nightclub with her knickers on display?

6 comments:

GreatSheElephant said...

Oh my. I'm all in a nasty turmoil about this. A turmoil that says:
I feel for the parents
but
I'm still not convinced they didn't do it
and
that Express mockup is hilarious
but
in appallingly poor taste
and
would you just go away (not sure whether this one is just aimed at the McCanns or the media)

Geoff said...

Obviously if you do see her the only right thing to do would be to snatch her from her so-called "guardians" and go straight to the nearest police station.

dh said...

There's a clever observation about Dorian Gray itching to be made here but I'm not quite up to it.

Art said...

I wish I could do it to myself,see what I would look like at 100 I mean. Although it would probably scare me.

themavericksdiary said...

I give the McCanns the benefit of doubt that they are trying to find their child and not sell their child. Still.

Tim Footman said...

GSE: I hold no opinions re their guilt or otherwise, but the gossip means they can never back down - people will infer that they think they've got away with it.

What if she's been snatched by dodgy plod, Geoff?

Force yourself, Dick.

I always know what I'll look like in 15 years time, Art - I just study a picture of Andy Partridge.

But they're selling something, aren't they, TMD? Everyone is. Even me.