Friday, March 24, 2006

Psychotic reactionaries

Sometimes I feel uneasy, even unclean, reading the Daily Telegraph, since everyone connected with it is clearly mad and preposterously right-wing and unfeasibly old. (Old in attitude, if not years; It's disturbing to think that someone like Simon Heffer is younger than Morrissey.)

But they do have some excellent writers. Here is (the presumably pseudonymous) Dot Wordsworth, on grammar.

"A repulsive piece of grammar is like a mangled frog left by the cat in the middle of the kitchen lino. It is not necessarily ill-intentioned, but the repellent effect increases according to the frequency of the offence."

And I'm like, woah, that's good writing, izzit?


Robert A. Swipe said...

Well, you know what they say Tim - "Heffer whine, could be human cries.."

Or not.

Tim Footman said...

Oh stop it. I still can't get over the fact that TQID is David Cameron's favourite album.

patroclus said...

Ah, the tortured simile. If you can't do similes, don't try.

Oh Christ, can't...stop...dishing out random, unsolicited advice.

Thanks for the plug above, by the way. Like the blog, too. I may hang out here a lot.

Tim Footman said...

But I quite like the simile, because of the delightfully Telegraphy subtext. It's a frog, which suggests Ms Wordsworth lives in the country - rats or mice could be anywhere.

And lino - I bet you that's real linoleum, not just plasticky floor tiles from Homebase.