Wednesday, May 07, 2008

When it's a Jarre

In the fast-moving world of blogthings, memes are just sooooo 2006. Clearly then, Matt from Zenbullets has judged the time right for a revival, or at least a bit of retro irony. He's tagged me to provide 8 Random Facts (at least one of which is possibly a Random Fib) about bouffy-haired Gallic electro-ivory-tickler and laser fetishist Jean-Michel Jarre.


1. Jean-Michel Jarre is the son of Maurice Jarre, who wrote the soundtracks for Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago and, uh, Ghost.

2. Jean-Michel is best known for that one that goes "BAH ber-ber ber", that was used as backing music for 86% of the supporting features about skateboarders that were apparently compulsory in British cinemas in the late 1970's.

3. It's called 'Oxygene', by the way.

4. I was at school with a guy called Micky Warren, who was a big fan of Jarre. However, he pronounced his hero's name "John Mitchell Jarry".

5. Despite this, Jarre is no relation to the playwright Alfred Jarry, author of the absurdist satire Ubu Roi.

6. In addition to his high-tech keyboard instruments, Jarre also plays the theremin and stylophone.

7. In 1997 he came second in a poll to judge The Most Ludicrous Haircut In Bland Adult Instrumental Pop, pipped to the post by Kenny G. However, many experts have suggested that Jarre should have taken the award because of his imaginative succession of atrocious barnets, whereas Mr G has stuck resolutely to the same grotesque abomination throughout his career.

8. Despite his tonsorial errors, he has touched the bosoms of many extremely attractive ladies, including Charlotte Rampling and Isabelle Adjani, and may even have seen them in just their pants. Most philosophers suggest this, rather than the Babel fish, is the most persuasive argument for the non-existence of God.

In keeping with the old-skool ethos of this meme, it's not a free-for-all. I must tag eight bloggers, and tell them who they must write about. i think I'll add the further restriction that not all the facts can be scooped from the individual's Wikipedia entry, although the fiction can be. So...

Annie Rhiannon must provide eight nuggets on the subject of Lucrezia Borgia

Betty on Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

First Nations on Friedrich Nietzsche

Geoff on Madame Blavatsky

LC on Traci Lords

Patroclus on one or other of the Chuckle Brothers

Slaminsky on Perkin Warbeck

Valerie on Eric Cartman

16 comments:

patroclus said...

Oh lord. Can I swap with Geoff?

Betty said...

Nice one Tim. I've already been drawn into Israel's world.

Unfortunately, when I was about thirteen I had a bit of a crush on Jarre, and was dead jealous of Charlotte Rampling. I feel guilty about it to this day. Mind you, having a crush on someone you feel guilty about having a crush on usually makes them much more appealing (er, in my experience).

zenbullets said...

I'm calling No 6 as the fake. No 7 is too obvious, and quite feasible.

And if you think Jarre's romantic adventures are unjust, consider also the bedpost notches of Roger Vadim and/or Serge Gainsbourg. Proof that, if you're French, you can still rub up against a string of beauties even if you look like Sid James.

M.A.Peel said...

Re #6, if only it had been an Ondes Martinet, I could have believed.

Geoff said...

I have the feeling a Chuckle Brother would be easier. But I'm willing to give the right little Madame a go.

Jarre is the only Frenchman sexier than Sebastien Tellier.

Tim Footman said...

No, Patroclus, you'll do what you're told. This is old-skool meming, not freestyle.

Fast work, Betty. I'll forgive your adolescent yearnings.

ZB: yes, but Vadim and Gainsbourg both produced great art. Jarre looks like a retired tennis player, and makes prog muzak.

Maybe he does, Mrs Peel. But as an instrument, it's surely got more of a Radiohead vibe.

Geoff, do you bond with the missus over your mutual lustful urges?

Annie said...

I quite fancy Jean Michel, though his music is execrable (pronounced Frenchly.)

8? Bloody hell. Can I swap with LC? Who is Perkin Warbeck? Baaastard...

Billy said...

JMJ's music isn't that bad, I'd take him over Yes anyway. I could do with a bit more rough edges though.

FirstNations said...

Nietzsche?
how peachy!

FirstNations said...

....oh lord forgive me. these things just slip out. it would be easier to forgive it i could blame it on tourettes i suppose but we all know its volitional in my case.

*trudges off towards the the dim reaches of wikipedia*

Tim Footman said...

The problem is, Annie, JMJ can only do the deed to the accompaniment of his own music. With lasers.

Billy, if you gave Jarre's music rough edges, it would fall to bits. And "better than Yes" is faint praise indeed.

FN, I think you can squeeze 8 facts from his moustache alone.

FirstNations said...

Ok, I did it. Can I have my clothes back now?

Rimshot said...

Well done Mr. Footman!

And your selections of meme/biograph topics is beyond reproach. I can only imagine the disparate google searches that will now lead the most unlikely of sorts here.

dinahmow said...

OK...it's #6, for which he dresses up as Rolf Harris.
This is fun! I've just come from FN's entry.

Tim Footman said...

No, FN, you can have Friedrich's, since you've inhabited him so well.

But will Google send me any money, Rimshot? The bollocks they will.

I can't remember, Dinah, but I think number 6 is the only real one...

patroclus said...

I haven't forgotten about this, will get on to it later today. Although I have to say that you, Betty, Annie and FN have set the bar very high...gulp.

(That doesn't mean that others haven't; I just haven't read any of the others yet).