At Fratton Park there's a guy who plays the trumpet, and everyone thinks he's terribly wacky and eccentric. They obviously ain't seen these.
Entirely unconnected, this crap e-fit story made me laugh, as did the news that snogging causes meningitis, which sounds remarkably similar to Victorian fulminations against self-pleasuring.
I'm going back to London for a week (Sunday-Saturday). What should I do when I'm there? Ideas gratefully, etc, etc.