Saturday, August 14, 2010

What are you in for?

I’ve only recently become interested in the various high and low roads that might lead readers to this blog. Previously, I just assumed that the sound of chin-stroking and harrumphing would simply echo through the interwebs, encouraging sympathetic pedants, dilettantes and curmudgeons to move a little closer.

But now, thanks to Blogger’s wonderful Stats facility, I can see that people find themselves skiing on the Cultural Snow after searching for:
  • bosoms
  • you break his heart i break your face
  • anita pallenberg today
  • attractive ladies
  • most offensive word
  • gloria hunniford
  • cuckold cartoon
  • bunty tommy the tomboy
  • hindu sex
  • a stupid person’s idea of what a clever person looks like
  • agnetha’s bum

And just to show that reports of blogging’s demise are a tad exaggerated, Anton Vowl offers a hymn of praise to the whole phenomenon.

PS: And I hope that in the last few hours, those who have arrived here seeking what’s the most derogatory term in america and fucking lady one after another have also achieved a modicum of satisfaction.

13 comments:

Rog said...

If you were to grow a beard and read out those search terms in a strong Liverpool accent you could make a fortune Tim.

Just a thought.

Vicus Scurra said...

I have no idea why I came here.

blackwatertown said...

a stupid person’s idea of what a clever person looks like - that is strangely funny.

Tim Footman said...

That’s a good point, Rog. I was, in fact, the bass player in Bunty Tommy The Tomboy before the inevitable musical differences forced us apart.

Never mind, Vicus, matron will bring you your special drink soon.

It’s a reference to Stephen Fry, BWT, but I’m damned if I can remember who said it. Maybe I should Google it...

Christopher said...

From the start it seemed to me that Bunty Tommy the Tomboy were on the primrose path if their top lyric read I am Mrs Ponsonby and this is my daughter Tommy. I want you to teach her to be a man. You were wise to seek your fortune elsewhere.

dh said...

Agnetha's bum eh? Interesting. Most of my clients are looking for lily's tits.

Tim Footman said...

We didn’t have lyrics, Christopher. We mainly offered instrumental dub/post-rock/skronk, with occasional sobs provided by the drummer’s boyfriend.

Ah, Dick, the wonders of search engine optimisation.

Annie said...

'Blogger’s wonderful Stats facility'

What? Where?

Annie said...

My favourite ever search term was "stinging nettle kinky games."
Big Australian pervert.

Tim Footman said...

http://draft.blogger.com/home then hit Stats (next to Monetise). And wear rubber gloves.

brokenbiro said...

Oy Rog! Warra yew tryin' to say about Liverpool poets... eh? eh? eh?

Tim - I came here because I follow you on Twitter so am not responsible for any of the terms above. BUt I'm proud to report that more than one (ie 2) people found my blog by seaching for 'zombie womble' even though those two words were in different blogs... until now, because it's too good not to 'do something' with!

brokenbiro said...

p.s I recommend using www.statcounter.com stats (free to sign-up for) - shows much more detailed info than Blogger stats... but thanks for explaining how to find them!

Annie said...

A stupid person’s idea of what a clever person looks like can be summed up in one word:

spectacles