Thursday, February 28, 2008

Raven mad

Somebody (I think it was the fecund Patroclus) once asked how I decide, once a half-decent idea has trundled into my skull, whether to put it in my blog, or on Comment is Free, or, like, whatever. I can't remember what my response was, but I'm sure it was deliciously facetious.

Giving it more thought, I think I can come up with a vaguely useful rule of thumb. If the idea is a) vaguely newsworthy; or b) something to do with the Middle East and/or the USA; or c) likely to offend people so much they allege I'm having it off with Julie Burchill, then I pitch it to CiF. If it's about kids' TV from the 1970s, or noisy guitar music, or sounds as if it might feasibly allude to Gilles Deleuze, it usually stays here.

That said, this one could have gone either way.

"I should make clear from the outset that I have not heard the Black Crowes' new album Warpaint, in part or in full. However, I can make a fair guess as to what it will sound like, from my past knowledge of the band: equal parts Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and the Faces, with much scrunching of the face during guitar solos.

Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever consciously heard a single note by the Black Crowes. Maybe I'm getting them mixed up with the band in Almost Famous (since Kate Hudson, who appears in the movie, used to be married to the Black Crowes' singer). Maybe I'm basing my reaction on foolish prejudice. Maybe they're really great, and have never said "Woooh! Good evening, Milwaukee!" at the beginning of a gig..."

Plug in and, erm, rock out here.

(Of course, I should have written something about the return of Thaksin instead but, you know, I just can't be arsed. Same Same, as the t-shirts in Patpong say.)

PS: More pop-music-related nonsense here.


patroclus said...

I did once - in my militant Web 2.0 vigilante days - ask you why you chose to put anything on CiF *at all*, given that you have your own blog here, and you gave the entirely reasonable answer that it was because sometimes the Guardian pays you for it.

I enjoyed that article very much, with its veiled simulacra references in the first bit, and your album-tracks-in-the-right-order leitmotif, and the quote from Will Self. I saw W. Self on BBC4 last night opining that Harry Potter was 'like cavity wall insulation expanding to fill kids' minds', which I thought was great.

And it's always nice to come across the redoubtable Jason A Parkes, whom I know (or knew) under a different name in a different place.

Dick Headley said...

I read the CIF piece but I can't quite decide if you are excusing Maxim's cursory review or not. It was definitely a cursory review though.

Billy said...

It looks like you and Swells are on the same page.

Kind of.

Tim F said...

Thank you Patroclus. Yes, Parkes is a sharp cookie, isn't he? I've noticed his comments before, but don't know anything else about him.

The ambiguity is intentional, Dick. Probably.

The same page, Billy? The same line. Even the comments sound familiar: I only needed to read the first line to know this article was shite/TLDR; why do you expect to get paid for not doing your job?; Frank Zappa; Rainy Day Women; and even though Swells missed out the Will Self thing, a kind reader reminded him of it.

If I do a CiF piece about the strange congruity, will that be just too up-own-arsey?