Tuesday, December 23, 2008

404 = P45

As the economic indicators get so gloomy that Survivors starts to look like a documentary, global capitalism is having to find stylish and innovative methods of making people redundant. I discovered the other night that one major Asian newspaper is so terrified by the notion that spurned employees might deploy editorial depth-charges, the IT department is told who's for the chop before the victims themselves find out. The first indication that you're on the scrapheap isn't an ominous summons to the boss's office, or even the appearance of a security guard with a cardboard box; your computer just freezes, leaving you gazing at a glassy microcosm of what your own life has suddenly become.

But how do they get rid of the IT guys?

12 comments:

Boz said...

No one ever, ever gets rid of the IT guys.. they see our emails... they know our browser history. They are all powerful.

oyebilly said...

I suspect the IT guys are outsourced already.

Annie said...

Ooh, that is truly horrible and inhumane.

Annie said...

I've been fired a fair number of times, at least the bosses had to undergo the unpleasant experience of telling someone they've lost their job face to face...

pleite said...

Maybe they could be taken out by snipers as they made their way into the building.

Tim Footman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tim Footman said...

Boz/Billy: But someone has to appoint them and pay them, so someone has to be able to get rid of them. It's a quis custodiet? situation, like military police, or the anti-corruption squads in the Met.

Annie: I've only been properly fired (as opposed to not asked back) the once. It was over breakfast. My boss drew me a diagram to explain why I had to go. In retrospect, I think I'd prefer it if my computer had just stopped working.

Pleite: Only silver bullets would work.

The Bureauista said...

The CTO of a former company had a unique way of getting rid of IT guys. He picked them up and carried them out of his office (former marine). Sometimes, to vary the routine, he'd wrestle them to the ground.

Robert Swipe said...

Well, I'm intrigued Tim. Wikipedia (and what could be more reliable than a made up compendium of hearsay and speculative rumour/ unreliable innuendo?) has our Rand down as a four-be-two:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Newman

Maybe it was a bluff on DID?

Or is he in *denial*?

xxx
Bob

rand rabbification: neterma

Now that *is* jewish...

Tim Footman said...

They probably preferred that to a pay-off, Bureauista.

Bob: I'm sure he said on DiD that his mother isn't Jewish, which means he's not (matrilineal, schmatrileneal, whatever). But maybe I imagined it.

Murph said...

Ironically, I know IT guys who have been sacked because everyone's screens kept freezing.

And Randy Newman's Father was actually short.

garfer said...

I worked for an American firm that fired me and said "if you've got a problem sue us".

Refreshing laissez faire capitalism in action.

Cunts.