Church of the poisonous mind

The truffles still unsniffed by the finest snouts in the blog forest are: 3, 'Computer Song' by bowler-wearing bedsit maestro Jim Noir; 4, 'I'm Waking Up To Us' by Belle and Sebastian (allegedly about the breakup of Stuart Murdoch and the adorable Isobel Campbell, left); 17, the fi-doesn't-get-much-lo'er 'You're So Great', possibly my favourite Blur song ever; and 20, 'Blue Jay Way' by some Scouse chancers. I'm surprised nobody got 4 or 20; but even more astonished at the ones you did manage to pin down. Enthusiastic yet chaste handshakes, masking wistful yearnings, to one and all. To Molly, the laurels, and try saying that after five pints.

Anyway, in a packed programme tonight: my old mate Nick (who doesn't have a blog, despite the fact I keep nagging him to start one, so you'll have to make do with his IMDb entry or even his Wikipedia entry) has flagged up the existence of the magnificent CAP Reports site.

It's a Christian thing, intended to warn parents about the horrors coming out of that modern Gomorrah, Hollywood; or, as they put it themselves, "A service to His little ones (which includes at-home teens) through you, their parents and grandparents, in His name by His Word". Inevitably, the likes of South Park ("vulgar and vile") and The Exorcist come in for stern reproach. But Satan lurks in the unlikeliest nooks. Godfearing parents are beseeched to watch out for "torture of a character (gingerbread man)" in Shrek, for example. And that's before we get to the "lies, several" in, uh, Pinocchio.

Despite the fact they're deranged bigots, one can only admire these guys' thoroughness. A single example: in their analysis of American Psycho (which scores an unprecedented zero on their "we don't like it, it's horrid" scale), they note not only the head in the fridge, the bodies in the closet, the chainsaw, the cannibalism and so on; but also "inappropriate touching", "abuse of prescription drugs" and, most heinous of all, "two abbreviations of 'Christmas' without 'Christ'". I feel unclean just typing those words.

One final gem. The review of A Midsummer Night's Dream is prefaced by: "...if you enjoy Shakespearean lingo, you'll like this one. All of the script is in Shakespearean."

And, while I've got you... Bob (St Etienne) Stanley on drugs and art in The Times (note to self: re-read Huxley); Viv Stanshall sings Cliff Richard, courtesy of Bob Swipe; and, thanks to Ms B, a quite extraordinary clip of Morrissey and Marr suffering little children at Kew Gardens (also available here if YouTube is playing up).