Sunday, October 14, 2007

A Letter of Paul to the Philistines

In which I annoy Bob Swipe.

And here's a related blast from the digital cuttings file: a sort-of-review of Morley's Words and Music, plus some other stuff, that I did for Tangents four years ago. Your enjoyment may be hampered by: its inordinate length; that thing that happens when all the unusual punctuation marks turn into other characters, there must be a name for that, damn, I probably knew it once, I'm losing it; and some snide remarks about the acting abilities of two actors who have since redeemed themselves, a bit.

23 comments:

dh said...
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dh said...

All above my head that but I can see where it might annoy Swipe I think. There's nothing about Arsenal in it.

Chris said...

Think it's called digital decay.

My favourite almost-instant record review is Everett True's take on The Stone Roses' 'Second Coming':

http://www.pdmcauley.co.uk/MMDec94.htm

He says something about 'five listens', but the secrecy surrounding the release pretty much had to mean that they were all in the course of one night, to meet the publication deadline.

dh said...
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dh said...

Just read your piece about Mr. Morley on CIF Tim and the subsequent comments thereon. Some of it may have rubbed off. Seems there are some differences of opinion about what constitutes rock writing these days. From the straightforward knock 'em sock 'em of primitive NME to a more sophisticated analytical form? No doubt this is all part of a broader discussion about what happened to rock music...God I'm old.

Betty said...

I think that the comment "God Christing buckets of arse" should be aimed at the current NME instead. On the rare occasions I visit their site these days, headlines like "The Twang To Tour!!!!!" are about as exciting as it gets. There are probably trade magazines for the air conditioning industry that are more interesting to read.

Spinsterella said...

Oh Tim,

you've really lost me here. Morley makes my head hurt.

Although I liked what the CIF-ers had to say for once.

They may have been disagreeing with you but they were generally quite entertaining and not calling for your head on a plate, which is nice.

First Nations said...

i love you when you're all riled up. it makes you GLOW.

Tim Footman said...

Morely probably supports something like Stockport County, Dick. Just to be perverse. And we're all old. It's the papers that got young.

Wonder if ET still holds to that analysis of TSC, Chris?

That's how they get their writers, Betty. People rejected from Ducts Monthly, incorporating What Vent?

All quite entertaining Spin. Although a couple of the comments were removed by the Moderators, so there may be a fatwa hiding in there somewhere.

I don't glow, FN. I melt.

Robert Swipe said...

"I can see where it might annoy Swipe I think. There's nothing about Arsenal in it."

In case it had slipped your memory Dick, I do still happen to have a first name.

Still on the thorny subject of nomenclature, I think you'll find Paul still spells that surname of his 'Morley', Tim; not 'Morely'. Must be all those illiterate Grauniad Ulnitimed juonralists rbubing off on you...

Was he any relation to Eric, btw?

Tim Footman said...

Hey, I got it right! It was those pesky commenters.

And always thought Eric Morley was married to Angela Morley, until I discovered she used to be Wally Stott.

alistair fitchett said...

I think the 'digital decay' on that Tangents article is fixed now.... at least i bloody hope it is. The things you keep putting off, and putting off...

Robert Swipe said...

So you're denying authorship of this little beauty are you, Tim?

"Morely probably supports something like Stockport County, Dick."

You know me, Tim; stickler for veracity. None of your trendy, lefty "spell it like you say it - no-one'll notice 'cause we can all paint like Picasso anyway"- style relativism at Swipe Towers, matey. We may not be good enough for the Grauniad, but at least we can fecking well spell the names of the people we write about (well, apart from Rudolf Nearenough, obviously....)*


*Well, it's near enough...

dh said...

Sorry Robert, that comment was a bit of a rush job. You are still top of the league in my book. As for Mr. Morley I don't have a clue who he is but I try to keep up with what's happening in the cultural world...you and Tim do a good job of keeping my remaining brain cells active.

Tim Footman said...

Nice one, Alistair. Although maybe those little imperfections add their own special piquancy.

(Which is the excuse I'm thinking of offering to Bob Swipe for the Morely typo. Think he'll fall for it?)

Tim Footman said...

Dick: I'll send you a Morley reading list, and Bob can write "PRETENTIOUS ARSE" over it in thick red marker.

Robert Swipe said...

It would be an honour to deface the complete works of Morley in red marker pen. My critique might be puerile, but most of it would be spelled correctly.

But I think, as is so often the case, the last word on Paul Morely/Morley belongs to The Spinster, who skulked away to Betty's place to pen this delightful soubriquet:

"Paul Morley just gets an orangutan to write his stuff, surely. Wank, the lot of it."

There really is nothing you can add to that, is there? Well, you could always squeeze in a climactic "cunt", perhaps...

And, I quite liked my Rio Ferdinand-mouthed arse bandit jibe....



"We are top of the league, say we are top of the league..."

Rimshot said...

Tim: Now THAT's what I'm talking about.

Mr. Morley could take a lesson from you regarding oh-so-many aspects of written communication.

And thank you for keeping things in perspective with your pop music vs. the heavier/headier topics of the day comment. I think too many miss the distinction.

Spinsterella said...

Tim,

I was awake with chronic insomnia at 3:30 this morning thinking all about the music writers of my era (Chris Robertson, Andrew Mueller and Everett True in Melody Maker and Andrew Collins, Stuart Maconie and Barbara Ellen in the vastly inferior NME) and I had a really important point to make..

..then I fell asleep about 5 seconds before my alarm went off at 6 and I've totally forgotten what it was.

Anyhow, I don't know what soubriquet means but, yeah, Morley = wank.

Robert Swipe said...

I've used it in the sense of "a humorous epithet", Spin. I think it just about clings on sufficiently to the dictionary meaning to save me from any accusations of hypocrisy.

But then, I am (and I'm quoting here, in case anyone from the GU is here and soesn't understand why there are those funny little rabbits' ears around the words...) "Nick Hornby's resentful (even)less talented brother" and "the thickest c**t ever to play the game", so what do I know? (I wonder when that ScrittiPolitti saw me play?)

So, that's told me. I take it all back. Morley writes like an angel; 'We don't talk anymore' was crap and Tottenham will win the league. Happy now? Comment Macht Frei.

As for you Mr. Footman. I really think you should stop running with those tough lads on the GU. I've never known such an ill-mannered lot. What I'd like to know is what "the bizarre offspring of some literary union betwixt Marcel Proust and Marjorie Proust"* is doing casting his pearls before swine like that anyway?

Bob

*Recoed Mirror

p.s. wrod vrecicficiftaion:prmly.

Aaah!

Robert Swipe said...

...and another thing:

"Nick Hornby's resentful (even)less talented brother"

Is that any way to talk top somebody who's terminally ill????

Bob

Tim Footman said...

Squeezing in a climactic cunt is amusing, Bob, but I don't think I'd like to do it during a live blogging session. I'll leave that to Rimshot (even if he fails to realise that pop music is the headiest subject known to humankind).

I'm sure Everett will be delighted to know that he's of someone's era, Spin. Like a fossil.

Oh, you again, Bob. I've no idea who Scritti is, but keep this up, and neutral observers will probably come to believe it's a virtual bitchfight between Hornby and Simon Reynolds.

Spinsterella said...

Simon Reynolds!!!!

I'd forgotten about him.

Now HE was a cunt.