That winking feeling

(Inspired by Reverse Stockbroker.)

Wryly Metafictional Authorial Self-Reference is dying of overwork.

“Are you there, Paul Auster?” he croaks from his bed.

“Yes, I’m here,” says Paul Auster. He owes so much to the old rogue.

“And Martin Amis, are you there?”

“Of course I’m here,” replies Martin Amis, his voice cracking.

“And JG Ballard? Kurt Vonnegut? Douglas Coupland? Are you all there?”

“Yes, we’re here,” they say. “We’re all here.”

And Wryly Metafictional Authorial Self-Reference suddenly sits bolt upright and yells, “If you’re all here, then who the hell is writing this?”