Sunday, July 17, 2011

Desynchronosis blues

I am suffering from jet lag, but as is usually the case, it is somebody else’s jet lag. Whereas I ought to be operating under the gentle, understandable befuddlement of one who is in Bangkok, thinking it’s Istanbul, a few calculations indicate I actually feel like someone in Lima whose rhythms are still shaking their circadian thang in Mumbai. As a result, when I fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon, it’s not just embarrassing, it’s inexplicable. I reckon every airline on which I travel slips some weird anti-melatonin in my drink, simply to ensure that no matter how ghastly the flight, how loud the shrieks of the feral children, how toxic the snuffles and coughs of the dodgy Vietnamese businessman at my shoulder, once I get off the plane, it will be even worse.

3 comments:

Annie said...

I saw a science programme about jetlag, apparently you have to not eat anything at all on your long-haul flight, then eat breakfast when you arrive. The theory is that meals regulate your body clock, so this beats the jetlag.

The trouble is that meals break up a boring flight...

blackwatertown said...

An absinthe inhaler might do the trick.

May frighten your fellow passengers anyway. Small amusement noticing their horror at seeing you with what might well be one of those masks that drop from the ceiling, and realising that they haven't got one and that they're all going to..... aaargh.

Or if you snap the face mask onto your dodgy neighbour you might get some sleep during the flight.

Tim Footman said...

That's the point, Annie: meals aren't for sustenance, they're to keep the passengers distracted (which is why budget long-haul carriers are always doomed to failure). Also, I was flying Turkish Airlines and - as I've said before, and they're not paying me, because I don't play for Man U – the food was pretty good as far as air fare goes. Far better than any breakfast to be had at Bangkok Airport...

I'm like the Phantom of the Opera, BWT. I wear a mask all the time, and only take it off when I want to scare people.